Sometimes, life just sucks.

20:46

Hey lovely people who read my blog and support me every day,

http://jamesong555.com/feeling-bad-and-life-sucks/

At this point in my life, I feel so sad. I feel sad and I feel like I can't do anything right and I'm failing everyone. I'm failing my teachers at school, I'm failing my friends, I'm failing my hobbies, I'm failing my family and worst of all, I'm failing myself.

The past week just has been rough and sucky. Everything bad came at me at once. I just feel the need to write it off my chest.

I kind of had a mental breakdown about school at the beginning of last week. I really didn't see it come all together and I didn't know what to do with my final paper anymore. I normally am not one for giving up, but I just wanted to give everything up and quit school all together. It didn't matter anymore. The only thing that did matter was: what would my parents think when I tell them I want to quit? I mean, they paid for everything and I could just decide I was going to quit. Then on the night from Tuesday on Wednesday I barely slept at all. Just thinking about everything that was going on in my head.

I cried a lot the day after, and I told my mom what I was feeling. She was mad and disappointed and really wasn't with me on the idea of quitting. But I just really want to end my masters degree with a good project, and if I continued now, I would make the deadline of May 11th with a nice project. We went to school on Thursday to talk about my options and I decided to postpone the deadline of my final paper. It's like taking a resit on an exam you didn't attend. Something like that.

With that issue finally out of the way, I'm having some trouble over at my choir practice. I've got a bit more responsibility there and you know that feeling when you want to please everyone, but you can't? Because when you please one person, you get a slap in the face from the other. We're all a bit stressed about the upcoming concert on the 3rd of May. I guess the stress is taking over a bit.

When I finally found the courage to work on my paper again, today, I got in a major dispute with my brother -again- because he can be so annoying and selfish, I just can't handle it anymore.
Sometimes I just really want to leave the house and live on my own, but I don't think I have the money for that right now. And I would disappoint my mom again. My parents have been caring for me so well and supporting me at school and making sure I was okay and not plan any holidays during the school year with the family so I would have plenty of time to finish my projects. I would only sound disrespectful if I told them now that I wanted to move out.


It's all becoming a bit too much today and I still have to go to school tomorrow, to make the final decision of what I am going to do with my project. Telling them what I've told you know about postponing the deadline will be such a relief, but telling that same thing to my friends at school without any tears will be difficult. I'm dreading tomorrow so bad.


I really hope your lives are going much better than mine at the moment.
Sorry for the TL;DR post. I promise I've got some great posts scheduled for this week: 

Tomorrow will be another pinspiration post, there will be another guest post on Wednesday and there will be 3 major beauty related posts for the rest of the week so stay tuned! I'm already excited for you to see them.
(At least my blog is doing great, the only thing that's kind of positive at the moment.)

Lots of love and talk to you soon.
Charline
xoxo



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15 reacties

  1. Way to look on the positive. Things will look up, just take each to-do at a time and focus on what you're doing it all for :)

    Erin | Erin and Katherine Talk Beauty

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  2. Oh Charline, I'm so sorry about everything life can really be a b*th sometimes, I totally feel you I get stressed and depressed all the time.. It's important to stay postitive you have great parents.. Stay home as long as you can trust me I moved out house young and it's really hard..

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

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    Reacties
    1. I know they take care of me so well and I couldn't wish for anything better than that. I just feel like it's getting crowded in the house, with 4 grown up people - one of them being a stupid teenager - and I can't do what I want anymore... I need my space as well... I know it will get better but I just feel so sucky at the moment :)
      thanks for your comment though, it really makes me happy to know you guys are all out there for me! x

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  3. Charline, I hope you feel better soon. Take some time to be kind to yourself - pamper yourself and eat your favourite food and of course blog! Things will look up - I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling sad as you come across so happy and positive in your blog posts, well done. As Erin said take things one thing on the to do list at a time. Most of all be kind to yourself. This time will pass.
    Rebecca | The Two Twenty Somethings
    Xx

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    Reacties
    1. I guess I don't really want to bother anyone with my feelings and that's why I don't show it in my posts. Also blogging makes me very happy and it would be boring to read depressed blog posts wouldn't it? I mean, life's not all bad, I just had a shitty week and wanted to get it off my chest :) Everyone has a moment like this from time to time. It's not the worst though, there are a lot worse thing in the world and it makes me sound so bratty but it all just adds up this week and yeah :) Thanks for the support Rebecca! You are so kind <3

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  4. I'm sorry that things are getting on top of you at the minute. The burden of guilt is a horrible thing so try not to carry it. You are nearly there with your course - one project to go & you can do it! You need a nice holiday after this! xxx

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    1. I really need a break, a trip away to the sun! :D x

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  5. I know how you feel, this time of year I always find stressful. Have you tried just having a nice bath, relaxing and candles I find they just help me to zone out for a little bit when I'm beginning to find everything too overwheliming xxx
    www.dimpl3dbrunette.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Ah I rarely take baths because ours is huge and takes forever to fill up, but I find taking a shower just as relaxing :) might help! ;) thanks for the support x

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  6. Awwh Charline I'm so sorry everything's so rubbish with school. I totally sympathise with wanting to quit school and feeling like you're failing, but don't let it overwhelm you! It's only temporary, and you'll push through it and come out on the other side :) it's so great that even though you're feeling like this, you're such a positive presence, your comments on my blog always make me happy! Chin up lovely, it's rubbish, but you can do it :) lots of love xxxx

    www.chibbybeauty.com

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    Reacties
    1. You are amazing Libby! I do try to be happy all day everyday but I don't think anyone can keep that up, sometimes we need to let it all out!

      I'm already feeling a bit better after talking to my teachers and my classmates and explaining them how I'm feeling and how I'm going to sort things out at school, and they were all so supportive and that made me feel so much better already :)

      and every single person commenting on this post makes me feel better too, I love this community so much and I'm so glad I started this blog this year!

      Thank you so much Libby, you are the best <3

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  7. It can be so hard to disappoint your parents, but sometimes you have to be brave and do it. They are not studying for you, they are not living your life, they are not going through the stress you struggle with. Yes, it is selfish, but parents are meant to let you go at some point! I wish you all the best and hope your brother will calm down soon enough! Also, if you were not aware, universities in Belgium have special units (like psychologists and other specialists) available at very very fair prices to help you go through any difficulties you may encounter during your studies (related to your studies or not). They are very helpful if you ever need to talk to someone who is objective.

    Clémentine @ Ravacholle

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    1. Thanks honey!
      I know there are, I talked to my teacher and she said if I ever needed someone to talk to, there is a psychologist at our faculty. I don't think I'm in that much need to talk to a stranger, and I do already feel better now. The stress just kind of took over and when everything little bad thing comes at you at the same time, it just kind of piles up :) I arranged new deadlines for my project and I told my friends at school about it and they were all very supportive. It made me feel better already and I'm happy with it :)

      Concerning my brother, well, he will always be a little pain in the *ss but you know, I'll kind of have to deal with that... :D

      Thanks Clémentine, I feel like I'm really finding a friend in you (probably because you live a lot closer than all the other people reading and commenting on my blog :D) it's nice to know you're around on this little place of mine on the internet :)
      xx

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  8. Sorry, I didn't see your reply until now! Haha I know how stress can't get you!

    Oh, that's really nice of you to say that! I appreciate it!

    My little sister is studying architecture and she often feels overwhelmed so I feel a little bit for you too! I also had my fair share of struggles at uni and I was so happy to find some help at my uni helping center (I have no idea how it is actually called) that I have recommended it to my sister as well!

    Good luck with your brother and I wish you the best with the exams coming up!!

    xx

    Clémentine @ Ravacholle

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