Sometimes, life just sucks.

20:46

Hey lovely people who read my blog and support me every day,

http://jamesong555.com/feeling-bad-and-life-sucks/

At this point in my life, I feel so sad. I feel sad and I feel like I can't do anything right and I'm failing everyone. I'm failing my teachers at school, I'm failing my friends, I'm failing my hobbies, I'm failing my family and worst of all, I'm failing myself.

The past week just has been rough and sucky. Everything bad came at me at once. I just feel the need to write it off my chest.

I kind of had a mental breakdown about school at the beginning of last week. I really didn't see it come all together and I didn't know what to do with my final paper anymore. I normally am not one for giving up, but I just wanted to give everything up and quit school all together. It didn't matter anymore. The only thing that did matter was: what would my parents think when I tell them I want to quit? I mean, they paid for everything and I could just decide I was going to quit. Then on the night from Tuesday on Wednesday I barely slept at all. Just thinking about everything that was going on in my head.

I cried a lot the day after, and I told my mom what I was feeling. She was mad and disappointed and really wasn't with me on the idea of quitting. But I just really want to end my masters degree with a good project, and if I continued now, I would make the deadline of May 11th with a nice project. We went to school on Thursday to talk about my options and I decided to postpone the deadline of my final paper. It's like taking a resit on an exam you didn't attend. Something like that.

With that issue finally out of the way, I'm having some trouble over at my choir practice. I've got a bit more responsibility there and you know that feeling when you want to please everyone, but you can't? Because when you please one person, you get a slap in the face from the other. We're all a bit stressed about the upcoming concert on the 3rd of May. I guess the stress is taking over a bit.

When I finally found the courage to work on my paper again, today, I got in a major dispute with my brother -again- because he can be so annoying and selfish, I just can't handle it anymore.
Sometimes I just really want to leave the house and live on my own, but I don't think I have the money for that right now. And I would disappoint my mom again. My parents have been caring for me so well and supporting me at school and making sure I was okay and not plan any holidays during the school year with the family so I would have plenty of time to finish my projects. I would only sound disrespectful if I told them now that I wanted to move out.


It's all becoming a bit too much today and I still have to go to school tomorrow, to make the final decision of what I am going to do with my project. Telling them what I've told you know about postponing the deadline will be such a relief, but telling that same thing to my friends at school without any tears will be difficult. I'm dreading tomorrow so bad.


I really hope your lives are going much better than mine at the moment.
Sorry for the TL;DR post. I promise I've got some great posts scheduled for this week: 

Tomorrow will be another pinspiration post, there will be another guest post on Wednesday and there will be 3 major beauty related posts for the rest of the week so stay tuned! I'm already excited for you to see them.
(At least my blog is doing great, the only thing that's kind of positive at the moment.)

Lots of love and talk to you soon.
Charline
xoxo



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